I Am Fat and Healthy.

Being plus size doesn't mean you aren't healthy. You may be thinking "did I read that right?" trust me, you did. Being overweight DOES NOT MEAN YOU AREN'T HEALTHY. Do you know how freeing that is? If only I knew this 15 years ago I feel like I would have been a much happier teen.

I have struggled with diets my whole life. I have dieted, starved myself and even worked myself to death at the gym. You know what I got each time? Disappointment. It never worked and even when I was at my smallest (125lbs and a size 4) I STILL FELT FAT. It was as if I was never satisfied. I just kept pushing, almost as if to stop my need of eating.

Even at my smallest I felt HUGE

My body and I have not been friends for most of my life. I was always the fat kid and always felt HUGE compared to my dainty friends. I hated that they could eat whatever they wanted and if I even smelled a cookie I gained weight.

In high school I finally got down to a system. I didn't eat breakfast, I didn't eat lunch, I only picked at my dinner and ate one poptart everyday. As you can imagine this was not the best system. I was STARVING all the time and while at lunch I lusted over everyone's food. I was obsessed with being a certain weight and it could have killed me. I know I am not alone in this. I know you are reading this and you can relate completely.

I recently started a diet of my own or as I like to call it "lifestyle change". I knew I had to do something. I was just diagnosed with PCOS, fatty liver, and extremely high liver enzymes. I decided I would count calories and start there. My husband had already lost 30lbs counting calories so I wanted to try too. I downloaded this app and started my journey. The first 10lbs came off instantly and it was like a drug. I was addicted to the success and addicted to the way my body was changing. I started working harder, going to the gym more, eating less and less. I wanted to see results NOW and I wanted to be SKINNY! I wanted to wear a bikini and feel sexy at the beach.

I started doing bad things like skipping lunch, and eating hardly anything for dinner. I had become obsessed with food and calories. I no longer was enjoying the food or the success, I was only paying attention to the scale. For those of you not familiar with PCOS it causes weight gain, so you can imagine the frustration I had when my husband kept shedding LBS and I had plateaued. I was miserable and very, very tired.

I knew something had to change. I have an amazing therapist who was PISSED when she found out what I was doing, but she helped me realize that fat doesn't equal unhealthy. WHAT?!?! This goes against everything I have ever been told! She helped me realize that listening to your body is key. I know this sounds something a gypsy or a hippy would tell you but it really REALLY works! Your body tells you when it is satisfied! How? You sigh. Don't believe me? Next meal you eat pay attention to how your body feels while you are eating, and pay attention to when you sigh and how you feel at that moment.

So let's break it down about how to listen to your body. Lets say you eat 10 cupcakes, how do you feel? Like shit? Okay, don't eat 10 cupcakes. Lets say you eat one, how do you feel? Fine? Okay great! Eat the cupcake. Listen to what your body needs, it really is amazing what happens when you listen. I know when I need water, I know when I need fruit and what kinds, I know when I need more protein. Your body is an amazing machine! This type of eating is called 'Intuitive Eating'.

I listen to my body, feed it vitamins, nutrients, whatever it needs, AND eat my Cinnabon too! It is all about balance. You don't have to cut ANYTHING out! Stop putting your body through hell, and stop listening to cosmo and BE YOU.

Now I want to just say I am in no way telling you to eat 10 cupcakes, but I am telling you that when you want a cupcake, eat it. Don't torture your body, celebrate what it can do! Just make sure your body is getting what it needs too! The key to living a healthy lifestyle is simple:

  • Stop stressing yourself out (that only causes you gain more weight).

  • Listen to your body and find out what it needs.

  • Get moving. Exercise! Go take a walk in the morning, move around while you are talking on the phone, check out a new work out on youtube!

  • Love yourself.

Did you read that last one? Love yourself JUST as you are. Stop trying to change to fit someone else's image of health and beauty. Instagram makes us feel like shit on a daily basis, but that is ALL BULLSHIT. Stop let it ruin your life.

So I know I sound very preachy, but I won't apologize. Some people need to hear these words and I hope that after reading this, it helped you in anyway! I know it might be hard to wrap your head around this type of thinking, however I actually have proof that it worked for me.

Remember how I told you about my fatty liver and liver enzymes? Well, after 6 months of eating this way and actually caring about my body, I do not have a fatty liver anymore and my liver enzymes were normal. After 6 MONTHS! I also would like to add that I have lost a total of 38lbs while having a Cinnabon occasionally.

Your body is so amazing and can do extraordinary things! All you have to do is give it a chance. So no, fat DOES NOT EQUAL UNHEALTHY. I am proof, I am a plus size woman who is in perfect health!

Remember how I said I wanted to wear a bikini and look sexy on the beach? Oh yeah, well I DID. I rocked that bikini for the first time in my life and felt AMAZING in my OWN skin! No makeup, no smoothing, no photoshop. Just me being completely me.

Not quite there with me yet? If you need more proof read this book:

Have a great day!

<3 Amy

"Every day may not be good but there's good in every day"

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