I am a fantasy.

Dear Ed Razek,

I wanted to thank you for giving me the courage to step out of my comfort zone and do a photo shoot showcasing my body. Because of you, (and many others) I got in front of a camera to show that I AM a fantasy. Thank you for your insensitive and outdated comments. Your comments helped me remember why what I do is so important. Thank you, because for the first time in my life I am proclaiming to the world that I AM SEXY. So, thanks!



I'm sure by now you have heard these comments:

"If you’re asking if we’ve considered putting a transgender model in the show or looked at putting a plus-size model in the show, we have," he continued. "We invented the plus-size model show in what was our sister division, Lane Bryant. Lane Bryant still sells plus-size lingerie, but it sells a specific range, just like every specialty retailer in the world sells a range of clothing. As do we. We market to who we sell to, and we don’t market to the whole world. We attempted to do a television special for plus-sizes [in 2000]. No one had any interest in it, still don’t." -Ed Razek

“Why don’t you do 50?” Razek asked hypothetically, referencing size. “Why don’t you do 60? Why don’t you do 24? It’s like, why doesn’t your show do this? Shouldn’t you have transsexuals in the show? No. No, I don’t think we should. Well, why not? Because the show is a fantasy. It’s a 42-minute entertainment special. That’s what it is."

"Because the show is a fantasy."

Yep, I am fucking tired of hearing this shit. Aren't you? I am really tired of the whole body shaming issue in general. It is 2018 actually, almost 2019, shouldn't we be done with this already? ALL BODIES ARE A FANTASY and if you think otherwise we cannot be friends. After hearing these comments it really made me reflect and think about what I thought about my own body.

I have hated this body for almost 22 years, and I have hated living in it even more. I've never felt sexy before and I had several people tell me why I could never be sexy. I have a tummy, I have a weird looking middle finger because I cut the tip off when I was 10. I look strange without my glasses, my hair is super thin, and my butt is small and the list could go on for days. I by no means look like those girls in the magazines, and I felt like I would never look like them even if I did lose weight! I have bumpy arms and I remember one time a boy felt my arms and said "Ew gross! Girls are supposed to be smooth all over!". That is mortifying for a 14 year old girl to hear.

I kept thinking about how other girls must feel when they saw those comments, or even when they see the show. I know how it is, you hear those comments, you see those girls and you feel inadequate. You go right to the mirror and pick yourself apart. Why do we immediately pick ourselves apart? Well, because, the media is set on showing us ONE type of body and I don't think that is fair by any means. To be clear I am not "hating" on VS models by any means and I know they work hard for their bodies. I do however, think it is time to show young girls and boys ALL different bodies and how unique each one is!

I can only imagine how different my life would be if I saw a girl like me on the runway. I probably would have gotten to this place of loving myself a lot sooner.Just because you aren't a certain size, doesn't make you less attractive, and if someone tells you that you betta cut them out yo' life.

Whatever you are telling yourself is a big fat lie. You don't have to look like anybody but yourself to feel like a "fantasy". You are perfect in your own imperfect way and I have fucking had it with the media trying to tell us otherwise. NOPE. NOT TODAY SATAN.

My sister and I did a boudoir shoot to show that we ARE a fantasy in our own way. It was the most EMPOWERING thing I have ever done. I felt so sexy and I honestly didn't care about what my body photographed like. I remember sitting and not caring about my tummy looking larger. Once I got in tune with myself I stopped feeling self-conscious. I told myself: I am doing this for all the girls and boys who hate their bodies. I am doing this for all the people who feel like they are not enough. I am proving that my body and every body is a fantasy. I am sharing my vulnerable state with those who need to hear it most.

Before I went I was scared out of my mind, scared I would HATE the way I looked. I know a lot of people who know me might be surprised to hear that. I try to give off the feeling that I am confident in my own skin and that I don't care what others think. Well, here we are, I do care...A LOT. BUT, I pushed myself anyways. I wanted to do this for every girl and boy to show them that EVERY BODY IS A FANTASY.

I want to give you the courage to love and appreciate your body.

No matter your size, no matter your age, gender, race, etc. You can be a fantasy/sexy/beautiful/insert word here too! Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise! You are a queen and you are beautiful and if you need proof? Go see Catherine because she will show you just how gorgeous you are in your own skin. Doing a boudoir shoot made me see myself in a different light. I don't have to be perfect to be sexy, I don't have to have a certain number on the scale to show my body off. Because, we deserve to be here.

All woman deserve to feel GOOD in their own skin. Let's start preaching that to one another. Let's stop talking each other down. We need to be spreading messages of love to one another. We as woman, go through so much already and we need to be a support system to one another. We are stronger in numbers and need to build each other up!

I highly recommend Catherine, she really is an amazingly talented photographer and does an AMAZING job! She poses you and talks you through the whole process. You will feel so comfortable and relaxed with her! This is also a great way to do some self care and it is an amazing mood booster. I can say it honestly might change your life.

You can contact her here:

Catherine Kellie Studios


(248) 747-7236

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