It takes a village. Really.
When Amy and I opened Bombshell eight years ago, I naively thought that the two of us would be able to run our little shop forever. After all, there were two fitting rooms, and there were two of us. And we did operate like this for a minute, before calling in Mom, to at the very least, answer the phones while we helped brides. We hustled those first few years. We were both working in the shop the 48 hours a week that it was open, and then working on the business end of things after closing. We did this for almost three years straight... with no pay. It was exhausting. Fulfilling, but exhausting. Mom was working the same crazy hours, and her phone answering side gig, turned into a full time receptionist-greeter-sales associate-ordering manager-shipper-receiver-inspector, and any other thing that needed to be done, job. We needed help, stat.
This my friends, was a valuable lesson. We couldn’t grow the business and thrive without help, so as difficult as it was to give up the total control we had, we hired some amazing ladies that allowed our little business to bloom. We didn’t hire just anyone, we found women who embodied the principles of our brand, and really understood what we stand for to the core.
THIS is the key. Don’t just surround yourself with people, surround yourself with good people. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to be better. Surround yourself with people who want to see you become the best version of yourself.
Here’s the part that sucks, not everyone is good for you. Not everyone is FOR you. Not everyone wants to see you succeed. Not everyone is a positive influence in your life. Believe me, I know this fact well. I’m the type of person who wants to see the good in everybody. I want to root for the underdog, and no matter how many episodes of ‘Shameless” I watch, I’m still hoping that deep down Frank will turn out to be the good guy. I have trouble letting go of people, because I want to see them reach the potential that I know they have.
The problem here is, that behavior hurts me. You know those friends who only text you when they need something from you? Yeah. I still respond to those messages cheerfully, even though they make me feel crappy. You know that friend who has told strangers all of your personal business? Yep. I still answer those phone calls too. It’s hard for me to let go, because I’m always hoping deep down that something will change.
This is all pretty embarrassing to admit, but I feel like the next part of my story won’t make as much sense without this information. So, here it is:
When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.
Amy also mentioned this in her last blog about the 28 things she’s learned, but it bears repeating. This one piece of information has given me so much peace and closure in my relationships. It has allowed me to move past the hurt I’ve felt, and to be able to see people for who they truly are. I’m not saying that everyone is bad, and that we should villainize anyone who ever hurt our feelings. I am saying that it’s often our expectations of people that lead to us feeling hurt. I continue to love people, but with my eyes open. Seeing someone for who they are, and not who you wish they’d be, makes a world of difference. It gives you the power to keep them in your life in whatever capacity you deem appropriate, without being continually hurt. But here’s the best part, it also allows you to make space for people who ARE good for you!
I live by the philosophy that we already have everything we need to achieve our goals. You may not even realize it, but you already know someone that can help you get your dream job, or finance your new business venture, or can set you up with your future spouse, or whatever it is your dreaming about. Or maybe you’re about to meet that person…
Okay, so I know that many of you are thinking that this is easier said than done, and it’s hard to make new friends as an adult. You’re not wrong. BUT, I think that together we can change that. Amy and I have been blessed to be surrounded by an awesome network of remarkable women, and we know what a huge, positive impact that has been on our success. We want to share that with you. For this reason, we are so proud to introduce our Body Luv Club!
Our passion is connecting with other women, and this is another way for us to do just that. Body Luv Club is a private, ladies only Facebook community, that will also be paired with monthly meet-ups for any members able to attend. We will introduce you to some amazing women who are at the top of their fields, we will have opportunities to learn new things, we’ll have forums on a variety of topics, and we’ll share and network with each other, in the spirit of building friendships and empowering each other. Women need more friendship and support in their lives. We all need to be reminded that we are worthy and that we are enough, just as we are. Nothing does that quite like a community of loving, supportive ladies. We’re not trying to sell you anything, and this isn’t a platform to push your product either. This is a community of women who want to meet and interact with like-minded ladies, and expand their social circle. If this sounds like you, please join us by clicking here to join the online community. Meeting people is hard, especially in our digital age, but meaningful relationships are the foundation of our lives. We come into this world with nothing, and we’ll leave with nothing. The only thing we can do with our lives is give it away. If this speaks to you, you’ve found your people, and I can’t wait to meet you.